a little suspension of rain
by elainetheinsane
Summary: Eponine awakes after the fight in the barricades, alive and breathing. This isn't supposed to happen; not what she planned at all. What's a half-crazed girl got to do?


The rain starts in the middle of the fighting. The dark sky is made darker with the looming clouds covering the stars. Sometimes it seems the students are winning, and sometimes it seems as if the other side is- but the rain is constant. It patters on the cap of a lonely, heartbroken girl out of place in the barricades. It slides down the back of a young student carried by an old man heading for the sewers, later on. It wets a red flag- red for Revolution and red with the stain of blood- that another student who was leader to all, is holding that flaps out of a window. The rain weeps for the deaths, trying to wash away the pain and violence. It is merciless in its never-ending pattering, but a little fall of rain never hurt anybody.

The sun comes out in the morning and reveals the death the rain tries to hide. The bodies that have ceased to breathe lie everywhere, death from both parties because death is generous and impartial on whom it chooses to take. It is tragic but it isn't the rain's fault. A little fall of rain never hurts anyone.

In a dull alley where the sun doesn't shine, a girl awakens.

* * *

The smell hit her first. It flooded Eponine's nostrils, an unpleasant metallic smell that was her greeting to the world this morning. She knew it was daytime because with her body facing up, she'd opened her eyes and the sky was a bright blue, the kind of blue that used to make her think all was alright everywhere. But it wasn't alright now. There was- she gingerly spread her fingers to touch the liquid next to her- blood. Lots of it. Was it her own? No, she wasn't hit. She was still alive. Heaven would not have dead bodies lying all around.

It was a jolt to see the idyllic sky, and when she'd let her gaze fall, to the dozens of corpses in front of her. It was another jolt to remember the events of the previous night. It was chaotic and bullets were flying in the air much more than she would have liked- why did she even decide to go to the barricades anyway? Oh yes, Marius. She wanted to be with him and perhaps even die with him if that meant being together. A chill shot down her spine; her mind was so muddled last night. Die? She was prepared to _die_. Yet now she could not bring herself to imagine if she were in the place of one of the ill-fated students on the floor. Eponine sat up, gripping herself, brain whirring with all the memories. After she'd dressed up as a boy and successfully found Marius at the barricades, she observed him from a distance first. She was hesitant of what to do. At first she wanted to throw herself in his arms, begging him to run away with her to some gorgeous, painted sunset, but then reality smacked her rather unpleasantly. Looking at him helping his comrades, his every passionate, resolute movement, his devotion to the cause… she knew she wasn't in his mind. She never was. But she hung around because that was what she was used to and it brought her some peace among the chaos and honestly she didn't want to leave him. And it was around there that Eponine saw a wretched guard aiming at her Marius and instinct overtook her, and, and…

This was where she was supposed to die. It was supposed to be romantic. She would take the bullet for him like a noble lady would for her lover in rustic tales, and he would eventually die with dignity fighting for a lost cause. Then they would be together somewhere. But she managed to knock him out of the way with all the strength her lovesick body could muster, and missed the bullet by just a hair's breadth. And they both survived that round. For a sparkling, surreal moment, Marius had turned to see who his saviour was, and Eponine was readying herself for any reaction possible and it was all she ever dreamed of- that he would notice her. And then the moment was gone in the twinkling of an eye when a startling gunshot fired and someone went down, and Marius hurried over to the body to see who it was. Eponine had stood in shock when she felt something hit her (probably the end of a gun accidentally) and she'd stumbled into an alley next to her, knocked her head against the wall and the world around her faded to black.

Eponine let out a dry cough. The turn of events were certainly unexpected and still left her in a state of disbelief. She could hardly form a coherent thought- the only thing she knew was to get out of this mess as quickly as possible or she could picture herself drowning in the sea of bodies.

Getting up hastily, Eponine covered her face with her hand and tried not to step on too many bodies as she made her way out to somewhere which didn't have the ground slathered with stomach-curdling blood and the imploring, pained faces of the dead. She tried not to even spare a glance at the corpses, but in a morbid fashion her eyes travelled to their ghastly wounds and appalling expressions and she felt her heart tear and her body shudder. It was broad daylight but this was the most frightened she'd ever felt herself been. It wasn't like she'd never seen a dead person before in the slums of the city where people passed restlessly in the streets often, but never this amount and never after such a tragic event. And she wondered about who these people where, who they knew, why they decided to fight; why that man over there looked so angry with his eyes wide open and staring at anyone who dared look upon him, and why another man had a half-smile on his face and seemed so at peace. _It could have been me_. Eponine clutched her head, willing herself to rid such treacherous suggestions from her mind. But the same seed of thought planted itself in her brain and it reached the point where it had become so overwhelming she could have screamed and cried so all of Paris could hear her- and this was when she bumped into someone. Eponine thought at first it was a living corpse, with all the images flashing in her mind, but it was, she realized once spotting the uniform, just a soldier, and a living one at that. It hardly eased her.

"Monsieur, are you alright? There is blood on your coat," the National Guard inquired, reaching out a hand. Eponine stepped back in consternation, reeling. Who was this man? Was he too caught in the crossfire and escaped just like her? Another survivor, perhaps? But he had no blood splattered unseemly on him, unlike herself.

"Monsieur, I can get you medical help. There is a doctor stationed nearby," the guard continued, wrinkled face etched with concern. He looked tired, and sad. Eponine couldn't bring herself to speak and she feared if she opened her mouth only a scream would come out.

"Monsieur-"

"Mademoiselle," Eponine whispered, voice hoarse and deeper than she would have preferred. She flinched, and remembered she was still wearing her male disguise.

"I beg your pardon?"

"I-I'm a mademoiselle." She let out a shaky breath, and added, "And I'm not hurt."

There, she could talk after all. Her broken voice and curt sentences sounded strange to her ears however. There wasn't a time she didn't feel like adding more descriptions, even an anecdote sometimes, an afterthought and an after-afterthought. Now she was just tired. Tired and sad like the man in front of her.

"Do you- do you know where he is?" Eponine said the thought that had entered her mind. It gave her guilt that this wasn't the first thought that entered her mind when she woke up, but God knew she was still in such shock. She felt detached, not really knowing what she was doing or if she made sense.

"Who is 'he'?"

"A boy that was nice to me," Eponine choked up. She didn't notice the odd look the soldier was giving her and if she noticed she wouldn't have cared.

"If you're referring to one of the students that fought here, well, the odds of seeing him alive is not good," the soldier reported. "The other National Guards have been doing a body count and we're gathering all the bodies, and- I am sorry, mademoiselle," the soldier cringed with genuine despair when he saw Eponine's crumpled face.

At least that explained why the guard was here. At least he looked sincerely sympathetic. At least, maybe, there was hope that Marius was alive, hopefully. The soldier told her where they were bringing the bodies to.

Biting her lip until it almost bled, she gave a nod to the soldier, who in turn shot her a pitiful half-smile, and proceeded out to the main square. There she waited, and looked at every body they brought out with desperation. People had gathered around to look as well, some curious and some as anxious as her. Mothers shielded their children's eyes as they walked past. There was a heavy melancholy lingering in the air, the damage done after the storm. Body after body, she did not manage to spot a tuft of familiar dark curls though she did see a few familiar faces- Marius' friends; the friends whose position she always envied because they were allowed to be close to him- a luxury she never had. But now they were dead. Eponine twisted the cloth of her coat. It was tragically bizarre. She didn't know how she would react if she saw Marius as one of his friends now, but she didn't get the chance to find out. He wasn't there. It was late in the afternoon and the sun made her clothes stick to her uncomfortably, and yet her sweat was cool in the despair she felt. The last body had been found and displayed, the last body for a family member to identify and weep for, and it wasn't Marius.

It occurred to Eponine that they could have missed a body or she herself could have missed it, but she didn't want to lose the small bit of hope that had blossomed in her heart. It was amazing. Although still shell-shocked, some of the sadness lifted from her, and part of the numbness went away and her old imagination returned to her. Marius, once hearing she saved his life, would finally receive her with open arms! She would look forward to him, because she had nothing else to look forward to. Was it not always this way?

Shakily, Eponine released her matted hair from her dusty hat, and smiled slightly; she was the only person smiling in the whole square.

Soft rain began to pelt again. The girl has started to find her way to her supposed beloved, with renewed hope. Elsewhere, a flower in a dingy alleyway blooms.

* * *

**A/N**: So this is just the introduction to what I plan to be a series of maybe 10-20 chapters. I haven't exactly planned everything yet, so I would love to hear suggestions, no matter how small it may be. Also you can suggest what characters you want to see in the future. Preferably, I'd rather the dead characters (besides 'Ponine heh) to remain dead, but we'll see how it goes. I'm thinking of featuring Azelma and Montparnasse, what do you guys think? Of course, there will also be a meeting with Marius and Cosette, not to fret.


End file.
